Oh Penguin, How Could You Disappoint Me?

To satisfy my late night desire for candy/cookies/chocolate/crunchies, I put the kettle on and reach for a Penguin. My eyes quickly scan the wrapper for my joke. Unfortunately, I find a Funny Fact. These are not my favorite, but it's better than nothing, which would mean I wasn't eating a Penguin, and that would be sadder than a Funny Fact. Much to my alarm, I read "Funny Fact 4: It's impossible to lick your own..." I hope they're not going to say "elbow", because I discovered last week that this so called "fact" has been disproved. I turn up the flap to read the small, white on blue word underneath. "...elbow." I shake my head. I sigh. Because last week, in South Carolina, Miss Caroline Chick disproved this theory, as seen below.Now I know it's all a lie. If you can't trust Penguin, what can you trust?
But hey - nothing beats that gooey biscuity goodness. I plunge my slightly bit off biscuit into my chai - that beautiful union of Old World and New - and all is forgiven.